What a "Strong Woman" is not

A strong woman portrays in her appearance — I cannot crack; claims she’s not afraid of anything; will not let anyone get the best of them. She’s so skilled with self-defence; relies on physical elements; wilful enough to get her way; finds her way around authorities; demands for rights; relies on the outward appearance, but under pressure cracks.

All of my life, I've tried to be that  “STRONG” woman — know everything, right at all times, be everywhere, be perfect, be flawless, be STRONG. But the more I try to be, the less I become. The more I read, the less I remember. The more I learn, the more I fail, The more I try to be STRONG, the more I become frail.

Being strong is not about being flawless. It’s not about being able to do all. It’s not about knowing the answer to every question.  It’s not about how much you are able to do. It is God’s strength made perfect in your weakness. 

The world looks for perfection —women with faultless characters and undoubted integrity but God looks beyond. God is not looking for strong enough, never wrong, perfection stricken individuals, who've crossed their t’s and dot their i’s. God wants a heart that is broken; vessels that have been emptied of self; possibly broken and unusable by world’s standard. Women who will not find strength within themselves, think highly of themselves, look down on others or feel disdain at the sight of weakness in others.

God is looking for women that will find strength in Him to face the day; heart that are poured out like the alabaster oil. Women who'll say without You Lord, I am nothing. Women who'll show that I cannot do anything by myself. Women that are broken to say I don't know how. Women with empathy to know that it could have been them.  

I am not saying condone weakness or take the backstage and let others do the work.

I am saying, don't patch up your weakness. He knows you in the secret and that part of you that others must not see. Don't let pride get in the way. Don’t fall for the tricks of self-help, self-determination, self-motivation, self-disciplined that you miss the whole point why Christ came to die. By ourselves, we can do nothing.  

Don't cover up your weakness. We are natural at covering flaws. Rather than tell God how much we've done, how many services we've attended in the week, souls we've won to the kingdom; how despicable someone is or how others treat us. Humble yourself before the Lord. Say to Him how unclear you are about His guidance, how lost without Him; how you easily lose your way; how you don't feel like the world expect you to be; how incapable you are to love or respect others; how little you know about raising children for Him, how unprepared you are for the journey ahead. It’s in this weakness that Christ is made perfect.

Are you the woman that the world is seeking or Christ is?

Woman of STRENGTH knows her limitations, but knows the GOD that is STRONG enough to help her overcome; humbles her knees to pray and commit her ways before the Lord; understands submission and authority; knows when to talk and refrain from talking; knows how to command the right; skilful to let God work through her. 

A strong woman is an outward casing, but a woman of strength is bone from inside. A strong woman is not necessarily a woman of strength but a woman of strength is strong and much more... 

Picture: LifeHack

How do you shut down your seat of reasoning against negative thoughts?

One day, I returned home to find my sister crying. "What happened? Did anyone hurt you?" I asked. She turned to me with her teary face that was soon covered by a sudden outburst of tears.

"I think daddy hates me", she said.

Hilarious!

I could not help laughing out loud at first.

"Why would you say something like that?" I asked.

She quickly ran through a number of instances that our dad had scolded her.

I pointed out how her mind had played on her and shared a few personal instances, when he had done

similar things. His corrections were just an act of love.

We are all familiar with these kind of feelings: the voice that speaks to our seat of reasoning.

Did God really say, “You must not eat from any tree in the garden?” The negative voice of reasoning asked Eve. "The woman said to the snake, ‘We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, “You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.”" 

After listening to this voice, Eve expanded the thoughts to "touching" and from death to life.

When we listen to this voice, it misinterprets the word of God, makes sin appealing, presents God as a liar, works on our emotion and guides us to walk wrongly. 

‘You will not certainly die,’ the snake said to the woman. ‘For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’ When the woman saw (perceived) that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. 

This voice is like a friend who brings another friend to a pity party. It suggests fear, anxiety and bitter thoughts. It makes us have a wrong perception of things. It tells you that you are not likeable, loveable or incapable. It is that voice that sparks mistrust and doubt in every form. It creeps into our mind. Would suggest to a student, "I don't think you can pass this examination". Would trigger hate in a wife, "Haven't you noticed that this man has changed?" I am not referring to choice, freewill or decision making seat of our life. I am talking about suggestive thoughts that speaks negatively to our mind. 

So, how do we shut down our seat of reasoning against negative thoughts.

First, the enemy of fear is Faith. 
The more you build faith, the less you feel fear. Faith comes by hearing and hearing of the word of God. So, constantly feed your mind with positive information, most importantly the word of God. Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Break off from things, friend, people, locations that feed your mind with fear. If you cannot, cultivate the habit to speak positively so much that negativity will give way. We can't run away from a negative partner but we can be so assertive that our partner will do likewise.

Cultivate the habit of trust and expect the best.
This was very hard for me at a time because I like to be in control of matters, but I am getting to learn to trust God to be faithful. Just the way I trust my father or loved ones to love me unconditionally: to trust that whatever decision was made on behalf was for my good. This has improved my level of trusting people.

Avoid presumptions, think purposefully. 
There are many times that I've gone through bad times and wondered if God really answers our prayers or selectively and preferentially answers them.  But thinking purposefully have made me seen things differently. Whatever I have been through is part of the plan to get me to where God wants me to be. God created us for a purpose. He didn't create us as robots. Our lives are pre-destined. More importantly, he sets a purpose and creates his plan to see the purpose fulfilled.

Think objectively
Tackle the problem. Don't make a forest of inadequacy from a negative seed. Unpluck or prune it down. The key thing here is not to allow the thought to settle in the first place. Even when a dream does not come through, you don't have to link it to everything in your life or magnify it beyond what it is. If you feel inadequate on a job, worry about your performance or about other people's reaction to you. Take a few steps backward to what brought you to that point. If you think you don't have sufficient training. Work on that. If a thought springs up from someone's comment, weigh it against God's word. So, what are you going to do about it. Carry it around like a log on your shoulder or objectively walk through it. Ditch it my friend.

You should also read Crevices in my wall

Oluwamitomisin


COURTESY IMG: RITA SCHULTE

Find courage in what you are going through

Have you ever wondered why you are going through a path in life, far from expectations, and unaligning to the so called “God’s Plan”? Have you begun to wonder lately, if there’s ever anything like “fulfilling purpose?” Do you seem to be anxious about the next day, when God’s word promises bliss and a happy ending? Have you ever considered why prayers are not been answered and why a quest is difficult as a gold mine? Have you lost confidence in yourself and in the element of what you might become?

I have. It's confusing not to be moving ahead. It's puzzling to have so many degrees and skills and still finding it hard to be all I want to be. The feeling is paralyzing!!! I wonder why we go through what we go through. I didn’t get it, when I prayed and prayed and, answers seemed to be farfetched. I nearly passed out with worry over the thought of starting all over. I couldn’t seem to understand why a child dies at 4, but a wicked man refuses to die or change his way. My pondering heart got me thinking but never brought solution. 

Recently, I stumbled on the commentary of Joshua 31: 2.

 “Moses, the once prince charming spent forty years in Midian tending sheep. But, this experience was not wasted, as he learned the geography and climate of the Sinai Peninsula in preparation for leading the Israelites in that area for another forty years. God ensured that Moses was prepared for his great task.”

I realize now that my weary journeys are learning curves. The low points in my life have a useful purpose. Every training and skill is going to make me equipped for a greater good. 

I looked at my CV recently while applying for a job role and realized that God had taken me through diverse situations and positions for a purpose.  Every prior work experience was linked for a greater purpose. Even the minor things and times that I thought were distractions and leading nowhere was going to make a lot of differences. 

What if everything in life was rosy; we would have no time to think; we would deal foolishly; make wrong decisions; offend and think God is dispensable.

My point is find courage in what you are going through as a woman and lean on the absolute truth that God will turn all of it for good. The more broken your vessel is, the more the ACT of God to put you together and mend you again. See yourself as that clay in the potter’s hand. You are not beyond re-moulding. Your past misuse can all turn out to be perfect use for another purpose.

I want to encourage you to rise out of your ashes and live life knowing, it is for a purpose. “The humiliation of being reduced from a prince in Egypt to a servant in Midian also accomplished the divine disciplinary purpose of preparing Moses for his greater role as shepherd of God’s people."

If God could use a murderer and have him a close son, called him friend, then you are not beyond use.

If you read this, could you share with someone. 

Oluwamitomisin

Woman-Hold your head up high, you are not alone

When you walk through a storm;

A trial that seems hard,

A journey so hard, it seems like a struggle

Though times get tough and hard

Remember it is just a passing phase

After the storm comes calm

Rain welcomes the rainbow

Morning follows the night

At the end of the dark is shimmer of light

When you walk through the wind;

Events that come to you suddenly,

Circumstances that stretches you beyond limit

Though you be tried and tested.

Hold your head up high

Give your spine the strength it needs

Stiffen up; nothing is too much to bear under the sun

Don’t be afraid of the dark

Don’t think it has come to an end

When you walk through the rain;

Hard enough, you are unsure on the road to travel

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Remember you are not alone

God is right with you in all

He’s started you on the journey

He's waiting on the other side helping you get through

Let that hope drive your heart

Welcome the night because you know shortly it would be morning

Don’t be stuck under the bridge unable to make it to the other side

Don’t let your happening push around the boat of your life

Hold your head up high, the journey is not as far as you think

Dig deeper, stretch beyond limit; let your root find place in God

Spread your wings, fly higher and don’t lose faith
Woman, Hold your head up high, you are not alone

Psalm 23:4, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

Stuck in a “Play safe” mode

If you are a user of Sony Xperia; turning on the safe mode won’t be farfetched. If you a regular victim of PC crash, you know what it means to log on to a safe mode.

You can juggle through life in a safe mode like any computer hardware or program. But if you have to outlive life and be the God-Intended woman, you’ve got to disable your play safe applications.

'Play safe' says settle for less, in case you don’t get something better. It tells you to back out when you don’t need to. It reminds you that it might not work. It empowers the question, ‘why try?’ You say, “I might as well stay on this job because I am not sure I will get another one.” It forces you to stay in an abusive relationship because after all, they say, all men are the same. If you resign now, you might likely go hungry for a year. Don’t change business because people are hardly making it these days. It holds you from making and living life  at its best. 

Que Sera! Sera!! Whatever will be! Will be! You recline and resign to fate.

Can you think of a worse way to live life than that? We all do, at least in many aspects of life, especially when we are afraid to take a plunge. Certainly I do! Many times, I switch on my play safe mode and get stuck. I remember not using my car for nearly three months because I was afraid, I would hit someone or the engine might break down or tires get flat in the middle of the road. Rather than face the adversity, I rather take a walk to work. What a needless pain I bore for those months. What a needless pain we bear daily. It’s like sitting in a car and carrying your baggage on your laps. Why was the car designed with a boot?

Sometimes, we are beyond playing safe. We are confident about everything. We throttle life as if there is no stop sign on the road. We move, we press on with no fears or obstacles until we get hit by a moving truck. We ground to a halt unexpectedly and switch on a safe mode. I did! TostelCakes, a business I started in my undergraduate days was one of it. It was fantastic; it was great until I met a giant slayer. I grinded to a halt and then opted for a safe mode and never got out of it for too long.

When you move through life in a safe mode, there are no risk, no adversity, no life and no gain. You don’t get to meet people because you avoid them all together. You don’t get to live out your dreams because you avoid them anyway. You get by life with no excitement, pass it down the throat of the people around you and blame the world for everything.

I took a glance at my PC when it said ‘safe mode’. All applications were inactive. All lights dimmed. Partially, the computer was a living dead. I took a glance at one of my engine designs and realized in a play safe mode, ‘low power’, it was at its most inefficient operation. This means if you are stucked too long, you will be long gone before you eventually pass away.

You don’t have to live in a slow, passive, negative, objective way of life. Whatever it will take you to move out of your play safe mode, do it. If you have to get more educated, assertive, confident, just do it. And remember, it does not have to start with a huge sum of cash. It could simply just mean that you need to make a decision to life, stay consistent and resign never to resign to fate. 

Certainly, God has not called us to a ‘play safe mode’. He has called us to a life of dominance, grace, fulfilment and joy. He has called us to be active members of our community; active voices in our community; brilliant, creative members of the body of Christ and much more a light to the world.

Much Love

Oluwamitomisin

Failure humbled me

By Fasunloye Yetunde

I have this heavy yoke of having to be all that, perfect and without blemish. With pride I had no permission to fail, but then failure humbled me. Failure taught me what is important. I treated it as a visitor and I did not allow it to take residence inside of me. Now I don't wear it (pride) anymore. I feel lighter in my spirit without the burden of having to be perfect. I realized that all I need to do is ask for grace to rise every time I fall. All I need to do is pick up my self, dust the failure and keep moving until I get to that point where I can look back and smile, look back and simply say I am an epitome of grace. For me that is success.


Also Read: 

1. The Crevices in my Wall

2. Stuck in a “Play safe” mode

3. In a World obsessed with Beauty

4. The Thing that held me by the garment

5. Eve's Diary

Pain in the Face

Sometimes in our lives, that lightning bolt of pain hit us so hard that we want to halt right there. For some women, it is the pain of menstruation. For others, it is the pain of child birth. One man said, "I hate to see my wive in so much pain". Many men won't dare the labour room for pain."It's known probably to be one of the worst pains known to man." says a neurosurgoen. For some women, it is the juggling of career and family. To another, it is the price of making the ends meet. For one woman, it is the pain of watching quadreplets grow without a father. For many teenagers, it is the price of not waiting. For other women, it is the pain of making that wrong decision. Because of pain, our facial expression changes like a flash, our nerves cannot keep it together, our blood vessesl sits right on top of one another and our heart triggers like a fire.Pain leaves us in awful state of screams. We just want to throw in the tower and plunge into self-pity. It can be so intoxicating, that we often miss the lessons, life is giving us.But is there any gain in pain?

Pain is a great teacher. Pain gets our attention like nothing else can. It reminds us that we are alive. It reminds us that there is an oppourtunity to seize.It reminds you of the fragility of life. It matures us and make us have sympathy for others. It clears the road to inspiration, like a draft of cold crisp air clears your lungs. It teaches you to be grateful for little things. It teaches us patience and deepens the experiences of joy. It teaches us the value of sacrifice. It is a loyal friend, one who will be there even if everyone else went away. It brings the opportunity to triumph over self-pity. Pleasure lulls you to sleep, but pain wakes us up. In the continual awakening of life, pain is the alarm clock. Pain allows us to confront our fear and be brave. Enduring pain builds mastery. Pain connects us to some of the greatest human beings who have ever lived.

Jesus could not have become Christ without the pain of the crucifixion. What pain are you grateful for today? And what pain do you struggle with?

Oluwamitomisin

Tips from

31 Reasons To Be Grateful For Your Pain by  ASATAR BAIR

She said: 'I think I want to die'

Yes, I am up at 3 am, on a suicide blog, trying to make sense of ANYTHING that is going through my head. I feel completely lost, and emotionless every single day. I’m writing this because I’m afraid. Really really afraid. I finally graduated high-school this year. I anticipatingly dragged myself through my last year hoping with every thing that I had that somehow I would be free from everything once I got out of that place.

I became friends with a girl who was loud, and really didn't have any morals. All my friends hated her. I thought she was simply amazing. She listened to me and shared the same thoughts on everything I had. All my friends were saying that I changed over the summer and that I had left everyone for her. 

I confided in my friend and she was the only one that was there along with my other best friend. The only one that made me happy. The first week of school could have been the hardest week of my life. Absolutely none of my friends from before would talk to me. I could swear that everyone was talking about me. But then quickly thought it was all in my head. Then, a girl whom I was friends with on my bus told me that everyone was talking about me today. I cried home. I ended up crying in the stalls at school every lunch. Crying on the bus ride in the morning and at night (my bus ride is an hour and a half), crying myself to sleep. At that time I hadn't ever told my parents that I wasn't happy and that something was wrong in my life. 

I didn't make sense of it until the first day of school. I could recall my last happy moment being in grade 7 when I found out that marshmallow guns existed. After enduring my second day of school I had no choice but to tell my mother. It was 1 am and I went upstairs, she was sleeping, I was sobbing intensely and I woke her up. I explained everything. She was really shocked. I felt as if I couldn't go back to school, ever again. But of course I had too. I had a doctors appointment the next day. Cried and cried some more. My first therapy session started 3 months after. What dumb basis! I don't really understand doctors these days but anyways. I've had 2 doctors this year. And I feel as if things are worse. I have heavy anxiety. I'm afraid to do anything. When I walk I look at my feet. I don't leave my house, ever. I don't know how to react or make a conversation with someone besides my family. I can't get a job. I don't know what I love, or what I like for that matter. I don't even know what I don't like. All of this makes me feel like i'm an abnormal teenager. I'm too afraid to get my drivers license because I'm afraid of myself. I'm taking a year off because I don't know what I would do to myself if I was away for year. But I don't want to stay at home. The strange thing is, my depression is horrible at night. I'm afraid of night time. Its not like the kiddish fear of darkness. I just feel afraid about the fact that everyone is sleeping. 

After graduating, nothing got better. I had two good friends through out the year. One that understood every single aspect of me because I explained in GREAT detail how I felt everyday. He was there for me a lot. But he changed. He got popular. The other girl, I supposedly left all my friends for has a split personality with me. She treats me like dirt. I'm not happy around her. So now, i'm friendless. While every teenager is out drinking and partying with their endless amount of friends. I do nothing. I sleep until 4, eat, go back o bed. Wake up at 11 go to bed at 5 am. I feel like my fears go away when the sun comes up. With a lot of time to myself, I have been thinking of the ways to die. And I came with the conclusion that I would do it with pills. 

A couple of days ago, I attempted suicide. I'm tired of living. Because i'm not even alive. I don't feel anything. I just am tired of having this sickening feeling in myself that makes me feel uneasy every moment of everyday. Everything reminds me of death. I associate everything with suicide. I don't understand myself because i'm an optimistic suicidal type of person. I don't want others to kill themselves. I go through phases I believe life is beautiful, things will be okay… but its a vicious circle. I just want to be happy. And I do want to die. And i'm afraid that I might have 2 people inside of me. One who wants me to be alive and one who wants to kill me. I'm afraid of her. I'm just afraid of my future. What if nothing turns out good? Right now I know that i'm just a kid. But I can't think of myself at 40 and hating life then. Knowing that I wasted all these years living in hell while I could be in a place that's painless. My soul feels like it weighs a ton and its dragging on the ground. I don't like feeling sick inside like this.

Life leaves us at awful corners such that we have that awful feeling of suffocation or being drowned. But the problem is not about drowning, it is seeing a life support right before within reach and still letting go. I can only come up with one summary, "You think you want to die, but in reality you just want to be saved". Reading this article on the "Suicide Project" brought me back to the years when I felt lonely and empty.  Those thoughts of being lonely, hated or the flogging feelings of insecurity, depression and suicidal thoughts. In fact, all things that reminded me of failing and being tagged a failure. But I also remember that it did not end here, I got a call to be saved.  If you also feel this way, I beg of you to please write us. I oblige you to read more articles on "Nurture your mind" and watch the follow series by Joyce Meyer.

In essence, "Christ die that you need not kill yourself."

Articles excerpted from "The Suicide Project"
Fighting Depression and Anxiety (Part 1-6)
The cure for the Insecure

In a World obsessed with Beauty

"Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful"...Sophia Loren

It's no secret that as women, we love to know and feel that we are beautiful. With the way the society as painted it, you are either in or out. So we walk our heels, work our butts, burn our face, fry our hair, do everything and anything to get into the box. And when the bars are raised, which we are still yet to measure up to, we pick surgeries and make it more cosmetics and look for more alternatives. We just want to belong.

This belief often lead us astray. Don't get me wrong, I love this quote but you will be missing the point, if you were to limit my point to believing you are beautiful.

It is a common saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." So, if I take a look at you and tell you that you are beautiful, you should believe me. You say, No! It brings one question to mind. Am I believable?
That's subjective. And, I must say the definition of beauty in our worldly system is subjective.

Belief is the psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true. So if the premise is untrue, the belief is chattered and the anomaly is that the believer becomes 'nothing' or feels deceived.

So give me that room to make you ponder the more. Do you believe your mirror every time when it tells you that you are beautiful? Do you believe you are beautiful when your figures looks like it, your societal magazine says you are, and the last before the last guy reminds you that this is the reason he loved you? What if the society changed the definition of beauty from a figure 8 and gave it to a figure 7? What if you think you are hot and you suddenly realize that the season just ended. They say you are hot like a blonde and then they turned the table to a bronze. I don't intend to take you back and forth, but I want you to realize that you can only draw the definition of beauty from a premise that is true.

The society is unstable in itself, we cannot fault it more than it is. Even mirrors are unreliable. You know the convex and the concave. Self confidence in beauty is even a lie. We are often at the mercy of what our deceptive mind tells us. And although the people around us shower us with compliments daily and sometimes not. We know beyond doubt that they can withdraw their praise. But one premise remains true. It does tell you that you have been created beautiful in and out (Genesis 1:26-31) but you have a choice to belief it or not.

You have a choice to believe the worldly or the godly system. You will pick one either way. The first strips you of your originality and personality and turns you into an object, the other conforms you into what you have been designed to be. The worldly encourages you to be dissatisfied with your creator, makes you self conscious, insecure, helpless and clueless, the other opens you up to everything you taught was missing. You are indeed beautiful, the question is, who do you believe?

The Thing that held me by the garment

This frail, delicate but magnificent dress of mine had been the best of many dresses. I received it a few years ago from the King. He had a note attached to the dress, reserved for the best of occasions.  As suggested, I  resolved never to wear it to any ordinary occasion and reserved it for this just one occasion.

Here, I was dressed in my regalia, standing in the stead of what could be called “splendor”. The doors  opened before me and I saw subjects standing in honor to welcome me into the presence of the King. They were so many including children and women. 

I took a step towards the door. And then...

I fell flat on my face.

I looked back and I saw this thing that held me by the garment.

“The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it”... James Matthew Barrie

Can you connect with any discouraging moment in recent times? If you can’t, I can. Year after year, purring scholarship sites have become a great hobby. I remember my regular routine. After noting deadlines, I spend countless hours, even spreading into months, preparing applications. But one after the other, all I did get in recent years for each of them was a countless “we are sorry, you were not successful this time, reapply” note. This was a horrible phase of life. I've gone through similar things with job applications, business proposals and many other great ambition.   

We all go through down-turning times, so edgy, dark and limiting. To show love to someone and get nothing in return. To show kindness and be brutally rewarded. To turn in applications and receive bundles of disappointing replies, that’s if you ever get a response. It makes you want to quit, throw in the towel and scream, ‘Now What!’ How about doing everything right and still be perceived wrong? How do you cut off failure, a friend, you hate so badly? No short cuts! We all go through disappointing times. 

But the thing is, when you are held by the garment by discouragement, you have two options really. 1. To turn to see discouragement and blame everything that caused you to fall flat on your face. 2. To turn to see perseverance and see an opportunity to rise again. You should realize a fact about failing people. They are not people who failed. They are people who get stuck failing. Although, not actually defeated, they quit. They are people who stopped seeing light in the tunnel and give up reasons to hope.

'1 Samuel 30': David  was held by the same. He had zealously gone to conquer, but to return home to realize that his entire household had been taken captive. His city was burned with fire. It’s like having dreams shattered at the peak of the mountain, hopes dashed at the nearest breakthrough. To you, it could be disappointing news from an intending marriage partner. To another, it could be meeting failure at the peak of a career. To some, it could be a marriage at the verge of break up, after so many years of perseverance and pain. To others, it could be loosing a loved at a point unexpected. For sure, discouragement comes to us in diverse ways. It is not solved by ignoring or becoming fixed to them either.

David and his people cried until strength parted with them. Tears seem no more. More importantly. David saw the anguish of his subject and saw anger first hand as they spoke about stoning him. How bad can this get? But David did a few things right:

1.        He encouraged himself in the Lord. When discouragement hit you hard in the face. Find just that last strength to hope in God.

2.        He turned to God. When strength fails, where else do you turn? Do you turn into your problems for solace. You need to turn only to a source of encouragement. People would suggest, see a therapist, talk to a friend, see your banker, talk to your parent, find a community group to volunteer. Na!  If no one fits the shoes. God does.

3.        He asked the right question. The first few things we are inclined to do in the face of discouragement is to turn into negative confessions. “Things are not working out” “It’s just hard for me nowadays” “The recession is hitting me hard”. Quit self-negative talk. Stop listening to yourself, talk the right thing to yourself.

4.        He had the right attitude and expectation. The problem was not the men who want to stone David  It was not the heat of the moment. It was seeing them as the problem. I remember my usual phrase, “Today shall pass”. This too shall pass. It’s just part of the trouble of the day, but another day will break out on the morrow.

5.        He surrounded himself with the right people, about four hundred men, who were not cumbered by loads of disappointment. Study successful people, not success stories only.

6.        He did good to those who did him wrong. We get clouded in anger when we are discouraged that we miss the very opportunity of life. We often hear, "I cannot let any man break my heart again." "All men are the same". What if closing your eyes to good meant failing for life?

The next time you get held by the garment, remember to take the right decisions and you will better for it on the long run. It’s called the game of persistence against discouragement.

The Crevices in my Wall

The enemy sneaks in through the crevices of our lives. Within our everyday activities and in more subtle ways, forcing our fears to catch up with us, making us to be caught unawares by a sad incidence. 

As part of the inevitable life, we come across unpleasant situations and circumstances that maim us. Don't we? 

Like snakes, wall geckos, cockroaches, rats, the enemy sneaks on us without cognizance. 

You ask, “How?”

He sneaks into our thoughts, leaving us helpless, fearful, hopeless, tensed, doubtful, resentful, revengeful  frustrated, suicidal, depressed, hurt, painful, unforgiving or bitter.

The crevices of life are the tiny holes that the enemy use as access point into our lives. The small habits, thoughts, and perspectives that crave space for bigger, destructive ones. The thoughts that linger hard enough in our mind to form words. The many tiny cracks, spaces as cravings that leave us powerless and lifeless. Like the pleasantries before Mother Eve that made her forget God's instructions. “She perceived the tree was good for eating.” To many ladies, it is that thing that keeps them from saying NO to a rather obvious ‘pick your heels’ situation. Crevices of our lives are the cracks in our solid wall and holes so tiny, yet pave ways for weakness in our strong fortress. The tiny appetite that makes volume for lack of self control. “He is married but he is so nice, so kind, so romantic." "I should run but I think a little cash from this source would help.” A little room for fear, anxiety, and disappointment and we become revengeful, unforgiving beings. A little room for horoscope and astrology and we leave our lives on the platter for demons and familiar spirits. A little erotic music and film that leaves us prone to pornographic scenes. Just a bottle of a 0.4% that paves for the alcoholic world. A little form of gossip that eats deeper than cancer. A love for money or food that get little beyond depth and breaks the fortress of our strength. A little craving for comfort that makes us settle for the obvious wrong man.

Do you have such openings in your life? It’s time to seal them.

Negative thoughts, fears, lust of every form (flesh, eyes and pride of life) are major crevices in the wall of our lives. Have you had a thought lately that have suddenly become larger and larger than you originally perceived? These seem as ordinary thoughts but are fuels for fear. Fears open the door for the devil to torment you. It keeps the avenue for more rodents to feast, but faith closes the door on them. Have you considered why when you want to pray, you suddenly remember all the things you haven’t done right? That’s when all the chores of the day pours in like a river emptying itself. It’s the time to listen to God’s word but that's when the door opens on memories and floods of thoughts overwhelms your devotion to God. It’s time to close the door on Satan. Close the crevices that the devil is using against you. 

You ask, How?

Keeping the Keeper of the Hedge at work (Job 1:10). You have no business with the Keeper, if you've not acknowledged Christ. Find out how here. However, if you've, walk in and with the Holy Spirit at all times. Shutting the doors against negative thoughts. Not giving room for fear to settle. Flood them with God’s word. Detest everything that grieves the Holy Spirit. A little worldliness would not help, remember (2 Timothy 2:4). You've got to keep the fortress shut at all times . You are at war against Satan and his coup.

Much Love

Oluwatomisin

Five reasons you need to remove your brain (A)

The surgery is about to begin. Get the six footed stretcher set; get the nurses instructed and declare it an emergency procedure. Call out your resident doctors, specialists, service assistants. Hand out the glasses, aprons and gloves because this operation must begin immediately. 

I say this bleeding of dreams is enough, your pale dreams need reviving.  Yes! You've got to repair the broken arms of abilities, remove the shattered glasses of failure riding along with your hair. But first, you need to pull off some screws set in your brain and loose the nuts limiting you on every side. I have the lights over your head and I am advising you, 'Pull out your brain first and unbolt these nuts one by one.' 

1) NUTS of Limitation:

'If you form a picture in your mind of what you would like to be, and you keep and hold that picture there for long enough, you will soon become exactly as you have been thinking'...William James.

What limiting thoughts do you have about yourself? Have you reclined to the thought that you cannot make a good business, not talented enough or as blessed? Unbolt quickly! It's not supposed to be there in the first place. From infancy, you were born with no ideas, thoughts or view, where did you find this? Not in God, I suppose. That nut was not part of the equation, so you've got to remove it from the manufacturer's property.

We are products of our thought and our thoughts inform us to make decisions. Whatever you have built around you that are limiting, thoughts that are formed in your mind or ideas that has not conformity to God’s specifications unbolt immediately. The idea that we are not lovable, useful, valuable, better than someone else needs to be ditched.

"Numbers 13: 25-33, ' When they returned from spying out the land, at the end of forty days, they proceeded to come to Moses and Aaron and to all the congregation of the sons of Israel in the wilderness of Paran, at Kadesh; and they brought back word to them and to all the congregation and showed them the fruit of the land. Thus they told him, and said, “We went in to the land where you sent us; and it certainly does flow with milk and honey, and this is its fruit. “Nevertheless, the people who live in the land are strong, and the cities are fortified and very large; and moreover, we saw the descendants of Anak there. “Amalek is living in the land of the Negev and the Hittites and the Jebusites and the Amorites are living in the hill country, and the Canaanites are living by the sea and by the side of the Jordan.”Then Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, “We should by all means go up and take possession of it, for we will surely overcome it.”But the men who had gone up with him said, “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are too strong for us.” So they gave out to the sons of Israel a bad report of the land which they had spied out, saying, “The land through which we have gone, in spying it out, is a land that devours its inhabitants; and all the people whom we saw in it are men of great size. “There also we saw the Nephilim (the sons of Anak are part of the Nephilim); and we became like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.”

Will you be like Caleb or like the rest? If you are to step out into your destiny with no limits, you need to put a check on what you feel, think, say or do. Prov. 23:7 says, 'As a man thinks in his heart, so is he'.

What else?

Continue here
Five reasons you need to remove your brain (B)

Five reasons you need to remove your brain (B)

Five reasons you need to remove your brain (A)

2) NUTS of Doubts

Our doubts are traitors and makes us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt ...Williams Shakespare. You want to try, I know too well but you cant seem to get the voice in your head silent. What if I fail? What if I don't do it well? What if I loose it all? I will say, the little doubt spoils the abundant vine in you. Doubt is very limiting. Don't condescend to the natural man that says, a little doubt won't harm. If I were you, I will ask for a screw driver and unbolt.

3) NUTS of Fear
Fear comes in different forms, colours and shades. You remember the coat of many colours. Are you familiar with any of these: afraid of being rejected, feeling uncertainty;  fearing you might fail, scared of criticism. That's fear in coat of many colours.
I used to pat myself in the back, utterly living in the self deception that a little fear is good. I tell myself that fear has been woven with my inner being but come to think of it. We weren't born with it. We learnt it. Thanks to Zebra crossing but you remember, early in the days when your mum would shout, 'look before you cross the road'. Fear rings through your head that a car might hit you while you made the crossing. You pick your heels and walk faster, if not run. We often live our lives subconsciously submerged in fear, not taking steps because we are afraid, if we do, we will fail. Many of us stopped crossing the road, at least so that we don't get hit in the first place. Fear has crippled us so bad that we get a churning in the stomach to get across a room. Our heart beat so fast at every bus stop of life.The answer to the heart of fear, 'Take courage!'

4) NUTS of Impossibilities:
Are you familiar with any of these? Stop that! Get out of here! Will you put it down! It triggers a sense of inadequacy, insecurity and inefficiency. It says you can't.
Don't remind me of inadequacy, because I used to be a mother of it. I am not exempted from this struggle. I fight it daily. I thought I was the only one until i met a number; entrepreneurs,  parents, mothers and the likes. It's not far fetched to hear the word, 'I cant!' It's a visitor, an alien that have found residence in us. I can't says,'impossibilities'. It reminds us of an inadequacy. It forces us to be like others. It kills creativity and punctures innovation. It prevents us from inventing the new; we rather stick to the old. We don't want to take up new challenges. it's too daunting a task.
Recently, I found myself leaving a two-lane road to a eight-lane motor way. I panicked. I nearly got choked by the sudden change of capacity. Everything sounded too big, unreachable and impossible. I realized that I had locked myself too long in my limited space that i didn't know or could see the larger world. I remember shouting, 'OMG! I can't do this.
My best advice: Like they say, 'tear off impossibilities from your vocabulary library. Don't sell yourself short. Genius are not born, they are made.

5) NUTS of Self-
Me! Myself! I! You remember these self limiting words. We all do and say it, I suppose. it is summarized in one word, "selfishness". It reduces one. To outlive it, you've got come out of it. Be part of something larger. Don't struggle by yourself when you can join others to form a formidable force. You can't afford to be the CEO/MD/HR Manager and Marketing Manager of your self-imposed company. Your vision is not for yourself, not limited to the members of your family. It's beyond you, so live it.

So save us all the headaches by leading the surgery.

Crack! Crack!! Crack!!! 

Remove the NUTS!!!

Oluwamitomisin

2min instant Noodles

I remember that popular slogan for Noodles—2 minutes instant. We live in a world where everything is instant. Businesses are fashioned with flattery advertisements. “Get a flat belly in 6 minutes”, “1 trick to lose weight”, “Get an instant curly hair in 30 minutes”, “Second chance facial rejuvenation; look younger in 30minutes, “Get rid of spots/pimples overnight”, “Win the lottery:  guaranteed”, “you can win a free iPad by doing a free trial”. Shopping malls call for quick pick up: now, pay later. Cars dealers evolve new advertising quotes, fashion lines review deals everyday—twisting discount rates to get your attention. Vouchers, coupons won’t seize. Homes are not any different—quick microwave fix to everything. Machines do it all—we don’t have to break a sweat. Children cartoons promote finding a genie or dark magic art that will turn instant negative to positive. Recent movies tell us we need to get possessed by a spirit to achieve extraordinary things. TV adverts, Magazine, Advice columnist, therapist all offer us quick fix—even if you have to return a dozen times.
We are constantly satisfying our body with temporary relief. These are beautiful lies.
No wonder why lottery winners never build empires. In fact, researchers have found them to be poorer than they were at the time they won one. It’s an unfortunate scenario but even many Christians are in this huge debt—from one contract to the next, from one loan to the next. Use a credit card to clear the others debt.
Satan deceived Eve through this instant messaging system. Gen 3:5 illustrates that the devil said to the woman, “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. “ Eating the fruit was instant banking of all God’s knowledge. How hilarious? It must have been a sense of greed, to want to do better than Adam or God himself and the so called freedom of not rely on God’s support system that prompted Eve this day. But, don’t point the gun at Eve yet. That’s what our society hammers on, what we clamour for. You can list a dozen trap you have fallen into, if you were to be half honest. More freedom, more and more! There are many subtle ways that the devil is driving this messaging system to us now, to our faith, families, and finance.
You want to be the God intended woman, you need to sift the world’s system of getting everything instantly, delay gratification where possible and please God, whether it is in your finance, health or at home. You cannot spend twenty two hours in the office and expect a quick fix with a book. You can have a 100metre relationship with God and expecting him to show at 5mile run. Although, some knowledge might deem necessary but anything that’s against God commandment is only anti-life. I am an ardent believer of cutting time wasters—often called multi-tasking; earn a degree while gaining job experience. I love taking opportunities and deem it good but a quick fix is no ultimately solution to long lasting problem. Listing all this quick fix system would be impossible even if I was to develop a library. However, we can set a reminder to bring us to check of this instant system. The next instant satanic advert that flashes appealing to your thought should be checked against God's word.

Duper's Bait

The tale in the Garden of Eve reminds me of slavery. The duper in this case was a cunning beautiful creature, who wisely did not appear to Eve with horns or husky voice. It camelike any friend or new acquaintance would do on an ordinary day. Asked questions that sounded reasonable—one might be thinking, he just wanted to find out. Eve wasn’t stupid to have answered but she did not know she was beginning the journey of wagging after the duper’s bait. Here, I have described the journey to Satan’s slavery using Eve’s story in Genesis 3.

“Now the serpent was craftier than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’? ”2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die” 4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.”

The journey began with an attention. For me, curiosity was the bait—the devil knew so well I was a creative thinker who does well painting images. He would waive the bait—find more knowledge, remind me of what I saw or should see and I would come crawling quickly to him, until God found me out. The devil drew Eve’s attention with a question, knowing to well she would have to take it through her sense of reasoning. Some many things in our life are drawing our attention. It begins with questioning our original belief and taught. Do you think God exist? Did they say God answers prayer? Probably, at those moments, Eve was taking a look at the fruit and wondering why Adam said, God instructed them not to eat of the tree. He cunningly comes to us in our weakest moment. Probably, for us it is when we are at our low key points, times when we just lost something of worth, or asking for a healing for a loved one? Are you sure God really loves you?  

Listening was not the problem, but listening to something contrary to the instruction of God is. Constantly, we will get thoughts and questions but what do we do with them. Do we allow them to settle in, reason it, imagine it, try to clarify it, find a means to justify it? His word says, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” When Satan brings imperfection, you simply continue the scripture with, “I know it well”. Do you think, you are free after all you’ve done? Remind him, “Whoever the Son set free is free indeed.” The additional solution here is in Psalm 1:1-2 “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way those sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, 2 but whose delight is in the law of the LORD…” Stay away from areas that would bring questioning thought to you.

Listening is one step, allowing the words to settle is to make room. Ruminating the thought over and over is like weeding the grass around the seed, watering, fertilizing the soil and allowing quick germination. We remove the covering of truth and begin to cultivate contrary thought against God’s intended plan. After Satan’s first sales pitch, and realizing that’s settled. He continues by adding more combinations to the code, sowing half patterned truth. He has reaped the fruits of disobedience when he was casted out and he knew a soul that sin will surely die, but then decide to paint it half way—“you will not certain die”, he said. Here he has falsified the truth in cunning ways, after sowing the seeds of doubt. He has worn a garment of lies on a true consequence. In our present lives, there are many falsified truths, but the bible tells us to test all spirits. Not all that speaks to us all day is from the spirit of God, even when we think we know Gods voice. Not all friends speaks with the voice of God, some are induced against us. Because, they said things that were right yesterday does not make them the ultimate piece to our lives. Adam did not know this, I guess? Measure every thought or question against God’s word. Anything with a shadow of doubt about God’s words should be discarded. Finally, this prompted an action immediately when Eve believed the lie. It’s like the bait of a fish—throws, grab, follow the trail. Anything that is contrary to the word of God is a beautiful lie; a falsified truth. No matter how close or near it is to the truth, it is not truth. Only God’s word is truth and His ways are true.

Eve's Diary

My head is spinning. I hardly know where to start. This day started out so perfectly—like every other day we’ve ever had. As we always do, Adam and I got up early to take a walk with God. Those walks have always been the highlight of our day.
This morning, no one said anything for a while. We just enjoyed being together…It was such a sweet time—it always was when the three of us were together.
I don’t know how to explain what happened next.
All of a sudden, I heard a voice I had never heard before. I turned and there, looking right at me, was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. He talked directly to me. He made me feel important and I found myself wanting to hear what he’ had to say. I detached from Adam and followed the creature, as he spoke swiftly to me.
I am not sure what happened next. I think I just kind of forgot God was there. In fact, for a while, I forgot about Adam. I felt as if I were alone with this dazzling, mysterious creature.
The conversation that followed is indelibly etched in my mind.
He asked me questions—questions I‘d never thought about before. Then he offered me some things I had never heard before —from God and Adam. Normally in position —I had always looked up to God and Adam; this creature said they would look up to me. I would be independent. Knowledge — of mysteries known only to God.  Permission—to eat the fruit in the middle off the garden.
First, I just listened and looked. In my heart, I pondered, I questioned I debated. Adam had reminded me many times that God had said we must not eat the fruit from that tree. Am not sure if I knew why but I clearly remembered he told me severally. The creature kept looking into my eyes and talking in that soothing voice. I found myself believing him. It felt so right. May be Adam did not know about this, I thought. Finally, I surrendered. I reached out—cautiously at first, then more boldly, I took. I ate. I handed it to Adam. He ate. We ate together —first me, then him. I didn’t have to say much. He trusted me so much. I was His woman.
Those next moments are a blur.
Sensation deep inside that I have never had before. New awareness—like I know a secret I’m not supposed to know. Elation and depression—at the same time. Liberation. Prison. Rising. Falling. Confident. Afraid. Ashamed. Dirty.
Hiding—I can’t let Him see me like this.
Alone. So, very alone. Lost. Depressed. Deceived.

Eve
Excerpt from the Book "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Highly recommended Book, slightly edited